It's one of those lessons I never seem to learn. God wants to bear my burdens, wants me to discuss my worries and concerns with HIM, yet I continually take it all upon my own back and allow myself to be crushed.
Over the past week or so, I had a major opportunity to experience God's peace and control over all situations. One of my main roles in my new job is to help organise events. We have several 'field days' per year and the behind the scenes part involves lots of phone calls, emails and chasing people up. When I first got the job, this was my main concern. Event organisation is not my cup of tea at all! It reminds me too much of organising our wedding, and the frustrating and often painful process that was. Some people thrive on those things; I'm not one of them! I've had too many instances in the past where people have let me down...and others wonder why I don't delegate enough!
Anyway, it was seeming like mission impossible to get everything ready for our first field day of the year, which was last Wednesday the 3rd. A week before, the printer and the photocopier were playing up while I was trying to get the booklets done. I had to stay behind until 6:30pm, all by myself, since the others were at a conference in Perth, with no technical support nearby. I was at the end of my tether and just plain exhausted. I had too much work to do in such little time, I feared the day would end up being a complete disaster. This was just before Duncan and I went to Jurien for the long weekend, which I had really been looking forward to, but by Thursday night, I was in such a flap, I began to rethink whether I wanted to go. I was afraid that I would spent the whole weekend worrying about and ruin our time there for both of us. Not that sitting at home worrying would have achieved much either, but that's the sort of person I am. If something's on my mind, I need to tackle it head on and resolve it and can't rest until it's done. It was so annoying during the wedding planning, when shops and businesses weren't open when I needed them. All I could do was worry and wait. And that's why I got so irritated at people who kept saying, "Don't stress" or "Go have a massage" during the wedding preparations. What I really needed was them to help me solve the problem, not suggest Bandaid solutions.
As you know, we went to Jurien and I still managed to have a good time amidst the worry. Although when I tried to sleep, I kept envisioning the booklet binder going crunch, crunch, crunch, or myself in a sleeping bag having to stay the night at the office. All I could do was ask for divine help and try to commit my worries to God's care.
On Tuesday, we miraculously managed to set up the venue in only half a day, despite being short-staffed, and all the booklets were compiled and bound. I am absolutely certain that this was God at work since my boss said, in the past, it has taken them longer to set up the venue with more helpers!
The day went off pretty much without a hitch. My job was mainly to serve the food and I think it went ok, despite the fact we had to serve the Agriculture and Food Minister a drink of water out of a wine glass, because we had no other regular glasses available (he probably looked like an alco haha!) I even managed to relax and enjoy myself, knowing that God had somehow managed to help me and my workmates pull off the impossible. It is a wonderful feeling when you commit your cares to Him.
God is there and wants to be involved intimately in my life's decisions and cares, an amazing privilege I do not take advantage of. I'm not saying that God will allow every situation to run smoothly, but nothing can happen without his hand being on the situation. Worrying does not achieve anything except poorly affecting my health, and I'd like to think I do not worry as much as I used to, but this event showed me my flaws. I'm so grateful to have a God who offers us such wonderful promises as He does in yesterday's Bible verse.
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