Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Pendulum: Wisdom and Trust

Previously I was so certain that God wanted me to use this year as a rebuilding year, to delight and give thanks for the simple things in life, to not feel burdened to join a gazillion church committees, and to re-evaluate some so-called friendships. But since I posted 2011: The Year of Recovery and Faceless I’ve been in a bit of a quandary.

I was listening to a sermon on 2 Corinthians 1:8-11 recently which challenged my decision. As I listened and read to Paul’s hardships in taking the gospel to the nations, I began to feel a little bit guilty. Paul emptied himself of everything he had and was willing to go through anything in order that others may hear the message of Jesus and be saved. He is honest about his struggles, but puts them into perspective – that his sufferings are nothing compared to the glory followers of Jesus will all share when our Lord returns.

Now my dilemma is how do you balance one side which preaches wisdom in making decisions, and the other side which preaches that we should give everything for the sake of the gospel, even if it means you burn out or die prematurely? How do we take into account our severe limitations as humans (illnesses and other difficult life circumstances), but still rely on God’s power? For example, some people have advised me to take it easy this year – not in laziness, but not put so much pressure on myself to do too much. Now, others would say I should get out there and do everything I can to bring others to Christ, to not worry about my own limitations, but go hard for Jesus because I’ll only get one chance and God uses weak people. The first group would insist that wisdom is needed when we make decisions about how to serve God and that we need to take our limitations into consideration. The other group would fire back that if we only serve God according to how much we think we’re able, we are relying on our own strength and not on His. I’m confused.

I have greatly appreciated Cathy from Women Bible Life and her encouraging and thought-provoking posts on health and just resting in the grace of God. I have appreciated the rebuke that we often spend too much time proving our worth to God by ‘doing’, and that we need to take some time to rest in His grace, knowing that He does not love us any more because of what we do or do not do. While we were still sinners, He died for us. I know I especially get caught up with thinking evangelism is the most important thing, rather than simply glorifying God in everything I do.

But on the other hand, I’ve been wondering if I do rely too much on myself and not on God? The answer to that is no doubt YES, but I’m wary in how I say this. NEVER, in a million years, would I want to place burdens on people suffering from depression and other illnesses or make them feel guilty because I’m sure they get that enough. Most of the ‘sacrifice is measured by how much you have left’ messages have come from pastors and other men in ministry positions. Some of those have since burnt out and left paid ministry or have had periods of stress leave.

In regards to using Facebook less this year, I’m also reconsidering my decision to stop putting effort into several friendships for no return. Both of the friends I mentioned in Faceless are non-Christians. While the friendships are currently very lopsided, I’m wondering whether to keep persevering in loving these friends is the right way to go rather than ignoring them and cutting them off. I have been especially challenged by reading and listening to a sermon series on 1 Peter recently about how we live and suffer as Christ-followers in this world. Should I keep showing love to these two people via Facebook (one lives interstate and the other overseas) regardless of whether they show any to me? Something suggests to me that love is never a waste of time, but it sure does feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall sometimes. I want more than ever for these people to know Christ, but to be honest, I don’t know if catering to their attention-seeking is the way to do it. I need advice.

Is there a way we can have wisdom in how we make decisions in serving our great God, yet still step out in faith? For me this year just stepping out, meeting new people and building relationships is a huge thing and not something I can do in my own strength. How can we love and reach out to non-Christians when they don’t really seem to give a toss about us? Do we persevere or just realise the friendship is not a friendship at all and move on? Is this something that will look different in the life of each Christian?

How do we love sacrificially, yet still have boundaries?

How can you take time out to have a balanced life so you can be a more effective servant of Christ, yet still step out of your comfort zone to serve Him?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this issue and how you’ve made decisions in what to get involved in and what not to. Please share.

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