Sometimes crying makes you feel better.
On Friday, I ended up in the emergency department in Albany hospital. The boys and I had been staying with my parents for a few days in the school holidays. I woke up with shocking abdominal pain. It started between my chest and my belly button, went through to my back, and then up to my chest, and I started wondering if I was having a heart attack. The pain was second only to my labour with Flynn. I couldn't keep still and couldn't stop crying out in agony.
What really distressed me was not the pain...it was the reaction of my own parents. They literally didn't care. My dad yelled at me to stop disturbing everyone. He told me to take Panadol, put a heat pack on and be quiet. My mum told me I was scaring the kids (I wasn't; they were totally distracted by the TV) and that I need to learn self-control and be quiet in pain. I yelled at her furiously, asking if she'd been quiet when she'd hurt her back nine years ago and ended up in hospital for a week. My dad told me he'd take me to the hospital as long as it didn't make him late for work.
What the heck?!? They are not usually this horrible and I'm still hurting from it. I confronted them later, telling them how much their attitude hurt me, that I was in a lot of pain and couldn't just be quiet because it was inconvenient for them. But they still don't get it.
Then today I was in tears because a friend of mine unfriended me on Facebook. If it was someone from high school that I hadn't seen since then, and had no 'real life' relationship with, I wouldn't care. But this friend is someone I see regularly, am on good terms with (or so I thought), can talk about all sorts of stuff with, and Rory is best friends with her son. I asked her, via private message, why she unfriended me and said I was sorry if I'd inadvertently hurt her. She said she didn't agree with some of the stuff I posted on Facebook, but that we could still be friends in real life. I asked her if she could clarify what sort of things she disagreed with and she said she'd tell me in person sometime (I saw that she'd also unfriended Duncan and another mutual friend). Then, she messaged me this evening, explaining that she finds it too overwhelming reading about friends suffering (like when I posted about my abdominal pain). I'm glad we have sorted it out, but the whole afternoon has left me somewhat drained and emotionally fragile. (I will do another post on the nature of real life/online friendships later, as it is a subject that has often fascinated and perplexed me.)
Just when I thought I'd been doing so well recently, too.
Side note: I am fine, physically. The hospital did tests and an ultrasound, but all were clear. It is not related to my recent surgery. They thought it might be my gallbladder, but it doesn't seem to be. After some heavy duty painkillers, which left me very drowsy, I was home a few hours later, and the pain has not returned since.